i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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