Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
