you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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