i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm like, not good at living.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize