I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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