hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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