I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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