That's intense
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
