I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
