try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
