She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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