so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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