I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I love you.
Bad choice
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize