Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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