I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
