I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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