If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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