I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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