I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize