It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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