I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
