We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
