he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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