If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I have feelings that need drinking.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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