i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
