so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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