Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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