im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
