I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
