She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
do herpes really smell.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
