you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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