Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
