you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
