The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
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