I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
