Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
