I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
