i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
