so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
