i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
