You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
