When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
