i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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