i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
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4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
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It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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