I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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