but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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