real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I wannas sexs uuuuu
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize