I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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