nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
