If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize