"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
