y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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