so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
