try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
