she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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