what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
