Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
