I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
