we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
